Day one

Today was day one of diet/exercise plan. I didn't eat horribly, but I definitely did well on the working out. I got new shoes, and a new app and nike sensor for my shoes and ipod. This will count the calories/distance/speed/time of my workout and show me on my ipod. This really motivates me. TOday my total workout was 49 min, 4.12 miles and calories 422. i ran 1.75 miles total and walked the rest. I actually ran one full mile without stopping. While this may seem liek very little I haven't been able to do this in a long time. I did the run and then would stop to walk then walked .25 ran .25 and back and forth til the time was up. I was so proud of my self and am looking forward to tomorrow's workout too! Starting weight is 140. Goal weight is 120. Let's see if I can do this. I will need some support for sure!! I am going to start posting my food and exercise just to keep me on track!
See ya tomorrow :)

Alone on a Sunday Morning...

Wow, I never really have time to write on here, but here I am all alone on this Sunday morning and what a perfect time to write. Not too much has been going on lately. I honestly am so busy with school that I don't do much else. I just recently quit my really part-time job, and have no decided I hate Money most about life. It causes so much grief and problems for those that are not graced with it's presence. Everyone NEEDS some money, but everyone (including myself) wants things they do not need and do not have money for and it just gets depressing. Well enough of my rant on money it wasn't long but it just makes me mad to thank about the money I do not have!!

I am really enjoying school. I hate homework but I really like it. I am so glad that I have chosen a profession that one day might allow me to help someone. I have not decided whether I want to work in the OB unit or still at Riley. I do know that I really want a job at the hospital NOW. It is going to kill me to leave the daycare, but I know I need to do what is most beneficial for me and my career. So beginning this summer I will start looking for a job at the hospitals (either Community or Clarian hospitals) and will most likely be leaving the daycare =(.

Lastly, I have decided I am not good at anything. My mom can write, My sister plays every sport WELL, another sister can write. What am I good at? People say I am good with kids. I guess I am, but I still get frustrated at the daycare. Especially here lately. I think it's because I know I am not going to be there much longer and it makes me sad so I feel like why get close to the kids. I Don't want to push the kids away, but I also want to make it easier when I leave. So selfish for me I know. I'm not MEAN to the kids don't get me wrong.I love those little squirts very much!!

Allright, well i really do not have much more to say today... I'm off to watching General Hospital my favorite show!!

Oh my gosh, how did i forget the biggest news that has happened these past couple of weeks? I am an "aunt" again!! Matt's family says I am because we have been together so long I might as well be. So Matt's sister had her baby boy. His name is Bryce Aden and I am in love! He is just precious. I love my Drew too (his brother he's 2 almost 3). Ahhh I just love them so much!! I try to see them as much as possible, but with school it is so difficult! Ok well I will post a picture of the boys and then I'm really off to do hmwk and watch GH!.

At Last

Have you ever figured something out you thought you would NEVER figure out and thought....ahhhh at last! That oh so joyous feeling came to me last Wednesday in the middle of class. I began nursing school last Monday, still with that feeling...I want to do this, but is it right for me? Do I still want to do Dental Hygiene. It was so nerve racking. Class monday was boring. We went through how to assess a person's vitals. It didn't mean much to me then. Tuesday was different. Tuesday's class is a communications class, which I know this is going to sound dumb because I want to be a nurse, but scares me. I am not the biggest fan of getting in front of people and talking. Heck half the time I don't like talking to people I do't really know. So we got put into groups (scary for me) and were told to discuss the topic. So my group gets off topic WHICH I HATE and I tried to without sounding like an annoying stuck up smarty pants get the group back on topic (successfully if I might add). After that class I still wasn't 100%. I knew it wouldn't come right away. I figured it would be a semester at least. So Wednesday I went to the first (history of nursing) class...and thought OMG this is BORING. Went to Honors class. THen came lab. She showed us what to do. I took my partner in our cubicle and was like ok let's figure out how to take blood pressure. We couldn't figure it out so our instructor came over and showed us. It was at that moment I knew I was in the right place. I didn't feel stupid for asking a question like I normally do. I really cared about getting this right. I wanted to do this. I am now EXCITED (yes miracle I know) to go to class. No I don't want to sit in a lecture, but I do want to learn the necessary skills for becoming the best nurse I can be. I am sure there will be a ton of moments where I gripe and complain about homework, and going to class. But I now have that ahh at last feeling that I am finally sure of what I want for my future!!

Ever After

I have really gotten into reading again. First it was the Twilight Series (AMAZING). I am in the middle of Twilight for the second time. Then I took a break to read Even Now and Ever After. Both are by Karen Kingsbury. I have to admit they weren't something I would have picked off the shelf. But after my sister recommended it more than once I decided to read Even Now. At first I wasn't really into it. Then I got farther in and I couldn't put it down. I stayed up until 2am just to finish. It was the first book where I actually shed tears. It was a Christian novel and it was amazing. So when my sister said, "there is a second one" I immediatley went to amazon and ordered it. I was so excited when it came in I didn't even finish Twilight (everything is compared to Twilight now so this was a miracle). I've been into this one from the beginning. This book is partially taking place in Iraq which is kind of ironic because Matt's brother leaves for Iraq on Monday. (more on this is in a few). IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS STOP HERE. I knew from the first time Kingsbury mentioned "him" something bad was going to happen. I had a gut feeling. While taking a bath where I spend most of my time reading...something happened. I didn't want it to. "He" was such a good person. He treated her the way any girl wants to be treated. He was "perfect" (or as close to as possible).He volunteered at the Teen Center and at the Veterens home. He was a great son, boyfriend, friend, and Follower of Christ. When Kingsbury made what happened happen...I wanted to submerge my book into the bath water and make it go away. I saw what it said and I kept saying "NO NO NO"! It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. I felt like the pain Emily was feeling I was feeling. It was horrible. So once again Kingsbury successfully made me cry. I feel so devastated. Someone that good should not go through something so bad. This book is also a Christian novel. I feel that I am at a trying time in my faith. I believe in God. I believe he sent his son here to be our Lord and Savior. I know I'm going to Heaven. But I can see myself looking for things to happen MY way not God's way. In this book especially they do everything for God. They Hear God speaking directly to them. I need to work on hearing God's answers and not doing everything for ME. So back to the Iraq discussion. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I am praying so very hard that nothing happens to Matt's brother when he is there. Matt would be devastated. NO, Jr and I are not that close. But I would be devastated for something to happen to him. I would hurt for Matt. I know Matt my act like he isn't worried, but I believe he is. I think he doesn't want to think of the "What ifs" and I know I shouldn't either.....but it's hard. THese are the times I need the Lord. I need him to keep me calm and collected. I need him to help me be strong for Matt. We are going Monday to see him off...I don't know what I will do if someone starts crying. I will cry. I think his family is the type of family to be ok with it, but as soon as one tear is shed, I'm done. I will cry for the fear I have not that he is leaving. That sounds bad. I will miss watching him and Matt wrestle and laugh. I will even miss his jokes at me. But I'm more scared than anything. THat fear is stronger than me missing him. So I'm asking anyone that reads this. Please pray for him. Please pray that he will be safe for the year ahead. Please pray that he will come home safely to Matt's family. I would greatly appreciate it.

My First Blog.

As you can see this is my first blog. I feel like I need to be doing something to keep my mind free of everything positive and negative as well as to keep a sort of journal of what's up with me for my memories! I guess I should begin by talking about me and what has been going on recently. I am a Junior at IUPUI and I guess I will be a Junior for two and half more years. I will graduate in 2011 from the IU school of Nursing. I just found out and I couldn't be more ecstatic. I know if you had talked to me throughout the month of November. I wasn't sure if nursing was for me. Now that I got in I know it is. I want to help someone. If I could just help one person then my job here was done. If I could make someone smile I feel I have succeeded. This is what is going to make ME happy and hopefully those that love me proud. I am such a busy person. I am working 2 part time jobs, and babysitting at least once a week. This doesn't leave me much leisure time. But that is ok with me.I love what I do. The kids I work with and babysit are a HUGE part of my life. I probably talk about them and annoy everyone but I love them. I think anyone talking to me would realize that. Lastly, I have a HUGE family. They mean the world to me. " I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family" I guess I never thought about it like this. I found this quote and it really got me thinking. I bet I do take my siblings forgranted...ALOT. They are so special to me. I am so lucky to come from a big family. I will always have someone to count on no matter how much we fight. No matter how many times the girls steal my clothes, Jeremy messes up my room, and Keyen annoys..they are MINE. They are always here and without them I am nobody. I would be so lost without them....so bored even! I get mad and frustrated with them and probably do not let them know quite enough how special they are to me. I guess this is my chance to tell everyone...I love them! We have to stand together. When everyone else is gone who is left? Family! Matt and I have been together for 5 1/2 yrs. I couldn't imagine falling in love with a better person. Sure we fight and argue but I love him! I don't want anyone else. I am happy and with the guy of my dreams!! (He'd be happy to see that)! Anyways, on to the thought that made me think...wow I need to write all this down so it's freed from mind so I don't dwell on something.
A friend of mine told me on Saturday that another friend of mine was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was devastated and worried, but didn't know how to bring it up to that friend because she hadn't told me. I was thinking I really can't go through this again (a few months ago a little girl I babysit whom I am VERY close to was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis...I took it very hard. She was my baby she wasn't supposed to get sick! But she is doing ok so I am ok just praying!!). Anyway, I debated and debated on saying anything. After reading this person's facebook profile I found out she does not have cancer. I acted like I new nothing about this. But my heart is filled with so much joy and happiness for her. I am sitting her crying for her in happiness of course! So if you read this. I am so happy for you! I was so worried and you have no idea!.
I am starting to get pretty tired now....amazing I am still awake really since I slept horribly last night and got up @ 6:20 for work. Now I'm going to bed and waking up that early again for work. Ugh! I don't like earliness! Ta Ta For Now. God's Blessings to All!! Good Night!