Ever After

I have really gotten into reading again. First it was the Twilight Series (AMAZING). I am in the middle of Twilight for the second time. Then I took a break to read Even Now and Ever After. Both are by Karen Kingsbury. I have to admit they weren't something I would have picked off the shelf. But after my sister recommended it more than once I decided to read Even Now. At first I wasn't really into it. Then I got farther in and I couldn't put it down. I stayed up until 2am just to finish. It was the first book where I actually shed tears. It was a Christian novel and it was amazing. So when my sister said, "there is a second one" I immediatley went to amazon and ordered it. I was so excited when it came in I didn't even finish Twilight (everything is compared to Twilight now so this was a miracle). I've been into this one from the beginning. This book is partially taking place in Iraq which is kind of ironic because Matt's brother leaves for Iraq on Monday. (more on this is in a few). IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS STOP HERE. I knew from the first time Kingsbury mentioned "him" something bad was going to happen. I had a gut feeling. While taking a bath where I spend most of my time reading...something happened. I didn't want it to. "He" was such a good person. He treated her the way any girl wants to be treated. He was "perfect" (or as close to as possible).He volunteered at the Teen Center and at the Veterens home. He was a great son, boyfriend, friend, and Follower of Christ. When Kingsbury made what happened happen...I wanted to submerge my book into the bath water and make it go away. I saw what it said and I kept saying "NO NO NO"! It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. I felt like the pain Emily was feeling I was feeling. It was horrible. So once again Kingsbury successfully made me cry. I feel so devastated. Someone that good should not go through something so bad. This book is also a Christian novel. I feel that I am at a trying time in my faith. I believe in God. I believe he sent his son here to be our Lord and Savior. I know I'm going to Heaven. But I can see myself looking for things to happen MY way not God's way. In this book especially they do everything for God. They Hear God speaking directly to them. I need to work on hearing God's answers and not doing everything for ME. So back to the Iraq discussion. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I am praying so very hard that nothing happens to Matt's brother when he is there. Matt would be devastated. NO, Jr and I are not that close. But I would be devastated for something to happen to him. I would hurt for Matt. I know Matt my act like he isn't worried, but I believe he is. I think he doesn't want to think of the "What ifs" and I know I shouldn't either.....but it's hard. THese are the times I need the Lord. I need him to keep me calm and collected. I need him to help me be strong for Matt. We are going Monday to see him off...I don't know what I will do if someone starts crying. I will cry. I think his family is the type of family to be ok with it, but as soon as one tear is shed, I'm done. I will cry for the fear I have not that he is leaving. That sounds bad. I will miss watching him and Matt wrestle and laugh. I will even miss his jokes at me. But I'm more scared than anything. THat fear is stronger than me missing him. So I'm asking anyone that reads this. Please pray for him. Please pray that he will be safe for the year ahead. Please pray that he will come home safely to Matt's family. I would greatly appreciate it.